#when creativity strikes
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hrefna-the-raven · 2 years ago
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That moment when you actually just want to enjoy playing Jedi Survivor but then a special scene comes up and gives you an idea for a sexy oneshot 😅
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So yeah I guess I'll be writing then...instead of playing 😂
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fiendishartist2 · 9 months ago
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redraw of this post from bunnyfarm's release
kofi|instagram
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girl-bateman · 2 years ago
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I guess that this is as good of a time as any to remind people that WRITERS MAKE THE STORY!!!! I cannot count how many times I see posts praising tv directors for things that are simply not their doing. That iconic line of dialogue? Yeah a screenwriter wrote that. The characters you love? Screenwriter. The places, the plot lines, the developments? Writers.
A show CANNOT happen without a script because a script is necessary for EVERYONE to do their job right. It dictates what set to look for/create, the filming schedule, the casting calls, the costumes and so on. It's not just words on a paper, its the backbone for all of production and it deserves to get recognised as the integral part of tv and film as it is.
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leviscolwill · 1 year ago
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show me how
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pairing: mason mount x f1 driver!reader
summary: mason brings you as his plus one to the ballon d'or ceremony and although you're both used to cameras, you still need each other to ease your minds. [wc: 1.4k]
req: i love ur jude x driversss but can we have mason and driver😔😔
contents: angst (reader has a panic attack), but other than that fluff, fluff, fluff ! established relationship, mason is a cutie patootie
note: okay this was supposed to be much shorter but i got carried away rewriting it at 1am 💀 but anyways !! first time writing for my boy (and definitely not the last) !! i hope you'll like it 🫶
now playing: show me how by men i trust (oncle jazz)
the beautiful dress you had on was probably not suited to brave paris' october wind. but your boyfriend and you had planned all of this for months already. you just flew out from the mexican gp as soon as you could and started learning the speech you wrote beforehand the moment you landed in paris.
you knew your presence at the ballon d'or ceremony was important to mason, he had a difficult time adjusting to his new club and you needed to be here for him.
you felt that was the least you could do, mason had been there for you during the whole season, facetiming you even when you were at the opposite end of the world and he needed to sleep.
your car wasn't as fast as your team had planned and all hope of a championship was close to none, the media started questioning your position within the team and whether or not you deserved a seat. safe to say, you went through a rough patch.
you were aware that coming here would give you a headache with all the questions coming your way on the red carpet. 'is your boyfriend a distraction to your career ?', 'do you think you're in f1 solely for diversity reasons ?', 'will we be able to see you on the grid next season ?' no. no. maybe.
actually, you weren't here only for mason. your pr team got you to announce the women's ballon d'or. you were extremely grateful for the opportunity, being a woman in a male-dominated sport like formula one forced you to advocate for equity and recognition of women in sports. and this was a great way to spread your message, a message you knew these players would relate to, they were also victims of sexism and misogyny in their sport after all.
however, you were still nervous, you hated public speaking and your hands were shaking at the sole thought of messing up your speech. for some reason, it was easier for you to talk in front of big cameras during races, even after a dnf, than at such an important event for a whole sport.
when you both finally got inside and were taken to your seats, you didn't even notice your leg starting to bounce on its own.
"are you okay ?" mason took your hands in his as soon as he noticed your stress.
"i'm fine, just a bit nervous" you lied. you were very nervous. you didn't know why, you've experienced worse in terms of stressful situations. hell, your job was a big stressful situation on its own.
you silently rehearsed your speech, while your mind helped you visualise everything that could possibly go wrong, exactly what you needed. falling down on stage, dropping the trophy, breaking it, stuttering during your whole speech, blanking out, passing out... all of this in front of a big audience with threatening eyes, an even bigger audience if you counted people in front of their devices, watching the ceremony.
all of these thoughts became too much for you to handle and you felt the urge to get out. obviously, you couldn't actually get out of here, you wouldn't forgive yourself for doing this to mason.
so you settled on going to the bathroom to clear your head a bit. the 'clear your head' part didn't work well though, as you felt tears well up in your eyes. the thought of your makeup running down your cheeks was enough to make you spiral again. thankfully, no one could see the scene unfold since you were confined in one of the stalls, sitting on a floor that was probably not clean enough for you to do so. you tried focusing on the conversation two girls were having just outside, praising each other's seasons.
you heard the door close, or open, you weren't able to tell.
"y/n ? are you here ?" you didn't expect to hear mason's voice.
"umm, this is the women's bathroom..." one of the two girls said to your boyfriend.
"i know... i'm looking for my girlfriend she's-"
"mase, i'm here." you slightly opened the stall's door for him to get in.
the bathroom stall was clearly too small for the both of you, so you were practically glued to mason.
"y/n... you should have told me how you felt." mason had a serious look on his face, which was quite unusual for him.
"i'm sorry, i didn't want you to worry. it's just... a lot for me, i don't want to mess it up."
mason's hands found your cheeks and made you look up to him.
"you don't need to put pressure on yourself like that y/n. i know you'll do great, you just need to tell this brain of yours to stop working overtime." his arms engulfed you in a big hug.
"no, don't hug me... i'm all snotty." you whined, trying to push him away, in vain.
"i love you even when you're snotty." he said, peppering kisses across your face.
"so cheesy."
"you love it though." he said chuckling. he was right, you loved it when mason was overly cheesy, especially when he did so to comfort you after a bad race or in moments when you simply needed him.
mason cleaned up your makeup after comforting you, and you went back to your seats hand in hand, a smile on both your faces from the intimate moment you both shared.
when you were taken backstage just before the announcement, you felt anxiety creep up again. this time mase wasn't by your side, but his words were. this was all in your head, you just needed to deliver your speech. that's it, nothing would go wrong.
you stepped on the stage with mason's words still ringing in your head when you felt hundreds of eyes on you.
the voice in the back of your head was wrong. everything went perfectly, you even caught mason's sparkly eyes when you were done announcing the women's ballon d'or winner.
getting back to your assigned seat, mason immediately congratulated you, kissing your cheek.
"you did amazing. god, you were amazing."
you were grateful for the room's shitty lightning, because mason didn't need to notice the way your cheeks started to flush at his words.
"thank you mase, i don't think i could have done it without you."
"stop saying nonsense. you did everything yourself." it seemed mason wasn't aware of how much his words, as simple as they might have been, along with his presence, were key factors in you actually pulling up to the stage. but debating with your boyfriend on such subjects was useless, so you let him believe what he wanted to.
the two of you spent the rest of the night chatting with each other in half-whispers, sometimes getting little 'shhhhh's from the audience. even though your anxiety was long forgotten, you still felt relieved when the ceremony ended. but getting home from the packed location was another issue you didn't plan.
you didn't know if you were thankful your hotel room wasn't that far from where the ceremony was held, or if you hated it. your heels were absolutely killing you and you didn't feel like walking in them, even for 200m.
"you look like a baby giraffe right now."
your boyfriend always had the right words to cheer you up, didn't he ?
"shut up. these shoes will actually be the death of me." you looked up at him with glassy eyes, hoping he'd get the message.
"i'm not about to give you my shoes y/n." his words made you sulk immediately.
"i could give you a piggyback ride to the hotel though..." you could hear mason's smirk in his tone, you knew he wouldn't do that for free.
"what do you want ?"
"a kiss." he simply said pointing at his lips.
you quickly pecked his lips, expecting your piggyback ride.
"what was that ?"
"a kiss ?" you answered, stating the obvious.
"surely not. put your heart in it will you ?" his comment made you roll your eyes but you complied anyway. you felt mason's hand sneak to the back of your neck deepening the kiss. after a few seconds, you realised you were kissing in the middle of paris' streets. you pulled away and hit his chest in false annoyance. which quickly dissipated once you were on his back, your aching feet silently thanking you.
"you're a menace." you said, although you were smiling at his antics.
"i'm your menace."
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brainrotcharacters · 12 days ago
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"Now you'll never get back."
Boss music intensifies
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everchased · 10 months ago
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god i love making art. i love drawing the little guys in my head and then staring at the drawing of those guys i made with my own eyes. it's like. there's my guy. holy shit he's real. idk. but it is such a fffffffucking bummer i have to wake up and go to work instead of making all the art i want forever
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halanikki · 4 months ago
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“this book changed my life” and the book is a haikyuu x reader series fic that hasn’t been updated in years
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citylighten · 6 months ago
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no this crazy tho
dear diary's first post
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sink or swim's first post
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seth-burroughs · 11 months ago
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I think we as a fandom don't talk enough about how Seth:
Took bribes from the Nail Man, a serial killer in exchange for allowing him to keep murdering people -- said killer ended up killing 3 people (while they were 4 victims, one of them belonged to the copycat) in the span of 6 months(?). But I'm able to excuse everything the Priest has done, free my man, however...
It was rather strongly implied he (and the other peacekeepers affiliated) had a hand in the whole "Jiei being called to the Clocktower for a quote unquote emergency" trap, picking an innocent man to frame as the Nail Man and either put him on death row or in prison for life, so they could sweep the case under the rug and be done with it.
EXCEPT. After his arrest, he says this: "To speed this case along, we need to quickly deal with that Nail Man we arrested. We should even consider... a public execution."
WHAT are saying
In what time are we living. Is this the medieval ages. Is this the 1400s. This has to be one of the most barbaric sentences I heard a peacekeeper say in Master Detective Archives: Rain Code by Spike Chunsoft. Can he even do that? Would Yomi allow this
He just picked a random man, and didn't even want to lethal injection him privately, he was preparing the damn scaffold so that he could subject the whole district to his legendary beef with that guy in particular, because fuck him I guess. Was that personal? Did Jiei drive his mother of a cliff before the story and this is his carefully planned revenge after decades of suffering in silence
There was LITERALLY NO REASON for him to do this. It was not securing his Evil Plan, not anymore convenient than a private execution, or anything. It was simply Seth's whimsical urge of getting to fulfill his Monokuma fantasy after all these years of severe disrespect
Conclusion: that guy was OUT for BLOOD the sheer MALICE evident in his gay little eyes easily matches Yomi Hellsmile and they should fight to the death for the title of Kanai Ward's Top Cunt
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distant-velleity · 4 months ago
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Hello!!! I know we don’t interact too much, but I was wondering if I could get Chrysos’ opinion on Allegra? Idk. I love ur rendition on Ursula’s Necklace! And I love his curls!!!!!!
hiiii!!!!
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"I look forward to working with you, Mahalath."
so by default chrysos holds respect for his upperclassmen, especially those of his own dorm -- i mean he's really getting into the whole deal-making thing but we can talk about that laterrrr
now im just going off of what i see but in regards to allegra's supposed lack of empathy? i feel like that's not something chrysos would mind too much, or view it as a particular problem (unless it becomes HIS problem) because it has nothing to do with him; so i think i could sum this all up as positive neutrality unless given an important reason otherwise
(also my own thoughts as a bonus: allegra the scrunkly of all time wow <3 i love the creative take on the necklace. ....... also i just noticed the correlation between 'doll-collecting' and his UM ... )
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butchreyes · 27 days ago
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god i've had such bad writers block lately. which i guess in a way i anticipated would happen when i went back to school full-time, but alas. like today i spent an hour staring at a doc, knowing exactly what i wanted to convey but completely forgetting how to actually say anything.
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navree · 2 months ago
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i say this as someone who felt the show had good bones, someone who, like grrm, has liked some of the changes they've made in this show like helaena's dragon dreaming and aegon's fatherhood and rhaenicent (i'm a big ole rhaenicent shipper y'all know that) and adding in the lore about aegon the conqueror also having targaryen prophetic abilities, but this is just spot on. this is the exact same thing i was talking about when discussing how cutting nettles makes all these problems for how the tory moves on going forward. f&b isn't crafted like a narrative but it is still fiction, grrm chose certain pieces based on what would make the best story. and some of the changes the show made create a weaker story (b&c is incredibly weaker both in the immediate deed and its aftermath/effect on the audience than if they had been faithful to the book description, for example), and more drastically, are making the sequence of events that has to come in the next two seasons borderline nonsensical. and that is a problem that should be called out, because it's not book purism, it's recognizing subpar writing.
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oh-hush-its-perfect · 1 year ago
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i find the wga-sag strike so good for so many reasons. of course it naturally will help labor and will force the upper echelon to acknowledge that other people have worth and how heavily they rely upon others, but there's also more to it.
people have brought up that indie studios that already meet the needs of their actors and writers will continue functioning, and that's great. this has the potential to upset the monopoly that companies like disney have on the industry. but i'm even more interested in seeing what individuals will come up with on their own. in the absence of new media to consume, people might start making their own content. this could cause an explosion of creativity of the masses.
a couple years ago, tiktok (despite its plethora of flaws) helped people realize their creative power with trends like the [adult swim] videos. i wonder how many young and old people alike have recently taken a newfound interest in film-making, writing, or other forms of art. the [as] trend was so cool to watch, and i'm expecting we'll soon get an influx of similar trends and projects. when people understand that they can create their own entertainment, we might get to see a decrease in consumerism— and maybe, if we're lucky, other things like longer attention spans in gen z and gen alpha as opposed to before the strike.
tl;dr: people are going to realize they can create their own media, and we just might get a lot more exploratory and experimental content.
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letmetellyouaboutmyfeels · 2 years ago
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That's so weird because my reaction to S4 finale is it was the moment that convinced me Buddie was going to be endgame. Now two seasons later and we could be heading back to that same ending for the season depending on the events of the finale leaves me doubting things ngl. The only things I'm clinging on to are the couch theory, Eddie saying that relationships with people you meet at a rescue never works, and the fact that we're being introduced to these women so late in the season. It just seems like the writers even know they're giving this the most superficial things so that they can fix what they did in early S7.
To put it bluntly it just sucks that you know if this was gonna be the final 2 episodes that instead of going towards a story they've been telling since S2 they decide to put Buck and Eddie with women we don't even know their last name or anything about them. But they got renewed and will be moving to ABC so they can do the story they wanted to tell and I imagine these women will be kicked to the curb early in S7.
Okay, I'm gonna be real honest with you. I've seen that you've sent asks to a few of my friends, all generally saying the same thing. So to see you send me this ask makes me feel like you don't really want to have a discussion and aren't looking for actual support or positivity, you just want to keep being upset and tell people until someone agrees with you and tells you that your opinion that the writers made a shitty choice etc is valid.
So, to repeat a few things my friends have said:
They have not been doing Buddie since season two. I don't know why people persist on claiming this. Buddie was never the original plan. They did not decide to have Eddie get with Buck in season two. In fact in season two they seemed kinda unsure what to do with Eddie since he wouldn't be with Maddie any longer, but they still wanted the character, and Ryan, on the show. For my money, they started exploring the possibility of Buddie and discussing it seriously in season three, and season four was when they locked that in.
Now, I don't know about you, since you're a stranger on the internet, but to me, as a writer, it is a much, much better choice for them to have taken the risk rather than cram Buddie together, for a few reasons.
One: They cannot walk it back once Buddie is together. You're telling me you wanted them to sacrifice their story's integrity to give us a rushed unsatisfying get-together? Get out of my house. Watching television is, inherently, a gamble because it means you might get your stories unfulfilled. If you can't take that risk, then leave the casino. I am willing to risk it because I want a truly satisfying get-together, not something that was rushed and therefore isn't worthy of the delicious slow burn they're building.
Two: How many times do I have to scream at everyone to consider the behind the scenes issues before people start actually listening to me? Oh, forever? Because everyone is operating in bad faith and nobody wants to actually listen? Good to know. This will be the last I say on the matter.
We do not know what behind the scenes was going on in addition to the cancellation. What if certain Fox executives weren't supportive of Buddie? You're telling me that the writers and cast and crew should have, right when they'll need new jobs, guaranteed that their last employers will talk shit about them for disobeying orders and putting two characters together that they were told not to put together?
This is purely conjecture on my part, but I have seen time after time in fandom certain cast members and certain crew members and certain writers want a ship to become canon, and others not, and I have seen the way that back and forth played out, and guess fucking what? NOBODY WANTS TO LOSE THEIR FUCKING JOB. NOBODY WANTS TO BE PREVENTED FROM HAVING ANOTHER JOB.
Now, again, that's pure conjecture, but Fox really hasn't treated OG well for a while in terms of renewal, marketing, etc. And I have never, EVER, seen a show snapped up by another network so quickly. It's always "we got cancelled!" and then a few days or weeks later it's "we were saved by another network!" ABC was ON it. This gives me hope for a lot of things, like perhaps a 22 episode season. But given Fox's lack of promotion and appreciation for OG, it wouldn't surprise me if the cast and crew wanted Buddie and some people in the network didn't, and that is why we've been delayed on Buddie going canon. And while YOU may cry viva la revolution, it's much easier to have your principles when you've got a belly full, and while it may suck creatively there is no reason to piss off your bosses right when you need them to write you a recommendation for a new job because your show got cancelled - and while I'm sure they were hopeful, given the cast's social media I do not think anyone knew until it was publicly announced that they had, indeed, been saved and gotten another season.
My point is, this is just one theory I'm pulling out of a hat like a rabbit. We do not know what other BTS stuff is going on that made them choose to delay Buddie until season seven.
Three: To go back to point one, I do not think you've seen the reactions when a ship goes canon poorly. I was there, Gandalf. I was there the day that Booth and Bones got together. I was in the trenches. It soured SO many people, including me, on the show. To quote MBMBAM: YOU DIDN'T STICK THE LANDING! YOU JUST FLIPPED IN THE AIR FOR TWENTY MINUTES!!!
Sticking the landing when getting a ship together is possibly the most important moment in the couple's story. You cannot fuck up that landing. The writers chose to take the chance on it never happening in order to stick the landing the way they wanted. If that pisses you off, FINE. But stop coming into our inboxes to say the same thing over and over again about it, because we do not agree and we are never going to agree. We are at an impasse.
Now, to move onto some other points, WHY IS EVERYONE CONVINCED THAT EDDIE WILL STILL BE WITH SOMEONE WHEN THE SEASON ENDS!? WHEN DID WE DECIDE THIS!? He could be! But holy shit he could just go on one date with her that fizzles out! We have no clue! If someone in this fandom can see into the future and knows for sure this is going to happen then give me the winning lotto numbers right this second!!! Give them to me!!!! I need to fund my world domination campaign!!!
And finally, I feel like you've answered your own concerns, here. Given that you have sent similar asks to my friends, I don't think you're actually interested in allaying those concerns, because you keep answering your own questions and repeating yourself ad naseum. I could be wrong. Again, I don't know you. But this sure seems to be the case given that you're saying to me similar stuff you've said to my friends in asks they've already answered.
But to look at your own ask, you just said why we shouldn't be worried. "It seems like the writers even know..." YES. YES, THEY DO KNOW. I would love to know who the hell decided that television shows are made by the Television Fairy who creeps into the studio at night and waves her magic wand to create all the good stuff we see on our screens while the writers sit around with their thumbs up their asses.
Let's imagine you are a showrunner and you are going into the second half of your season, and you learn that it is extremely likely this season is actually your last. You guys start negotiating quietly with other networks to move the show, while hoping against hope this is not, indeed, the end. But this means you now have, what, nine episodes? To put all your characters in a place that is, if not ideal, at least somewhat positive for your audience?
You can't start any too-major arcs. You can't end on too bad of an emotional cliffhanger. This means some things will wrap up faster. Other things will get pushed forward. And some things have to be delayed, because they might never happen, and you can't give people a third or a half of an arc. Which means that you're going to be throwing in some filler for those characters instead, and doing things differently than how you might have wanted.
I do not know how many times I have to explain this, but television is not fanfiction. When I sit down to write a fic, there's not a damn person in the world who can tell me what to do. I write the story that I want, and if someone doesn't like it, they can hit the bricks.
Television is not like that. Television is one of the biggest group projects there is. Picture the worst group project you had to do in school and then times it by ten. Welcome to the television and film industry. The fact that any film or show, even the truly awful ones, gets made is nothing short of a miracle given all the people involved and all the ways the ball can be dropped. As a show runner, you are answering to multiple executives, to the creators, to the executive producers, to your own writers' room, and to the fans. You are trying to balance what everyone tells you to do, what the fans want you to do, and what you and your (hopefully trusted) writing team want and plan to do. I could never be a show runner and while there are quite a few with whom I've got bones to pick, I cannot deny that they all do a job I would never, ever be capable of pulling off. I'd quit on day three.
So, yeah, they gave Buck a temporary girlfriend as filler, to kinda cap off his current arc if this was the end, or to provide more layers to his full arc if they got another season. If you don't like that, then that's okay. Nobody is telling you to like it. When you come into someone's inbox like this, the assumption is that you're looking to be reassured, and so that's why you're getting the responses that you are. The previous people who've answered you have been trying to reassure you and allay the concerns you seem to have.
But it seems to me like you want a more full conversation, and possibly, that you just want to rant and vent. That's fine, but find a friend for that. Join a discord server. Because when you send the same stuff over and over again to different people, all of whom give you basically the same reply, it just makes you look like a very obstinate stick in the mud who wants everyone else to join them in being upset, and people don't much like having the same conversation multiple times, or being pushed into being upset when they're not.
You might just have to agree to disagree, and move on. Find other ways to get this out of your system, because my inbox, and the inboxes of others, is not the place for your venting in circles.
Now, in spite of my firm tone, I hope you will believe me when I say that I hope you're taking care of yourself, and that you are staying safe in this scary world, and that you have a good rest of your day.
#lincoln answers things#pedropascale#I'm closing my inbox guys I refuse to discuss this any further#genuinely I mean this with all sincerity I think some of you need to go into the Supernatural fandom and learn about the backstage drama#because that was a BIG lesson for me as a fan in how BTS can seriously affect what you see on screen#and no I do not mean this in a shipper way#I mean this in a 'what the hell was going on during seasons six through eight' kind of way#for example all the jokes you're seeing about 'what happened last time we had a writer's strike'?#THAT'S SUPERNATURAL#DEAN WAS NEVER SUPPOSED TO GO TO HELL#SAM WAS SUPPOSED TO LEAN INTO HIS DEMON POWERS AND EMBRACE THEM IN ORDER TO SAVE DEAN'S SOUL#BUT THE WRITER'S STRIKE HIT AND THEY SAID SHIT WE'RE OUTTA TIME UM. GUESS YOU'RE GOING TO HELL!!!#and then they had to GET HIM OUT OF HELL#so Sera Gamble (YUP IT WAS HER DON'T GET ME STARTED OR WE'LL BE HERE ALL DAY)#said hey what if we actually DID have angels#(previously angels were not supposed to exist. hunters were God's agents on earth. it was demons vs hunters. no angels.)#and one of those angels was sent to rescue Dean? since Heaven would be invested in this too?#(I don't know if they already had the Dean-as-Michael idea or if that came up along with the angels idea)#and so Sera Gamble created the angel Castiel#who saved the Righteous Man from Hell#AND SHOCKWAVES WERE SENT THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE POP CULTURE SPHERE#AND AN ENTIRE GENERATION OF FANDOM WAS AFFECTED BY THIS DECISION IN A DOMINO EFFECT ARGUABLY NOT SEEN SINCE AMOK TIME#I know we like the idea of our stories existing in a vacuum separate from the real world#and that our stories are told the way the writers want to tell them regardless of all else#but that is unfortunately not how it works when the story you're telling#requires millions of dollars and the involvement of dozens if not hundreds of people#we have GOT to give our creative teams some fucking grace for the realities of how their jobs operate#we must we must we must
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desirableendings · 1 year ago
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What’s INSANE to me is how blind studios are to what actually sells. This and Mattel’s desire to have a MCU for themselves, convinced that what sells is their thousand IPs…
Girl (gender neutral), what made Barbie sell was Greta Gerwig, and a sort of original take on what could have been just a two-hour long publicity stunt, but instead cared about telling a story and having a strong point of view (and a bunch of investment on marketing, not gonna lie... which only means that if you market your original films smartly you can also have a good revenue).
Elemental (an original animated movie) sold way more than Lightyear or The Flash! After a soft opening, the box office remained steady, because, who would have thought, if you give original content time it will grow an audience ! ! !
It's not about original movies being risky, it's about the amount of investment being put in mediocre productions just because the executives in high power believe they understand how the industry works, when they don't. THEY DON'T.
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pyrriax · 5 months ago
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ANYWHO goodnight tumblr i'll be back on the art grind tomorrow i think 🙏
#haunted ecosystem#i'll take a burst of creativity in a different form than usual than the burnout slump i've been in for a few months#<- part of why my fandom stuff has taken a smidge of a backseat#dont get me wrong i am still very excited about my fandoms im just having fun off in oc hell (affectionate)#its nice to just be able to create and not really worry about perception. and also i feel Less bad about just throwing ocs into the wringer#((blame the fact i've been REALLY interested in whump recently and i have been. fixated. on one of my characters.))#and ALSO i've been! rekindling my flame for wtds. i've been putting off thinking about it since that fic got.#nothing bad happened? but it was still very devastating that somebody who i considered a friend from that fic just. evaporated.#but i'm gonna finish that fic for him :) even if it takes a year. even if it's the one thing i finish ever. it'll be wtds.#for where its gotten me and the fact its what got me out of my shell and is the reason i trust that my writing is good!#i used to really hate rereading my work. i catch flaws that are obvious to me. but that fic. i just think about how *good* the story is#that story means. a lot to me? as a person? like the main character is not a good person. but people care about him anyway.#and there are so many little things. so many sentiments. so much that is a love letter to people who've done bad but learnt to do better#because. god knows i wasnt a good person even just a few years ago. and maybe i see myself in him a bit.#he came from a place of paranoia and fear and pain. and maybe its a good thing that i've found it difficult to write him recently.#because god. i've been HAPPY. even with the rough moments and bad days. i've been happy. i mean fuck.#my birthday's what. ten days away? god damn man. i'm going to be 18. that's an achievement.#i want to look the kid who thought it was over at half my age and tell him we fucking made it. and there are more years to come.#there's a life ahead. even if it's going to be a bitch. even if it's going to be tough. there's love in your heart and people who care and#you're going to fucking live and you're going to feel better one day. you have people to meet properly and thank and cherish.#because for every day it feel like the world's ending there are a dozen more where the sun shines just the right way through the rain#and you can't help but smile because it's just so god damn beautiful.#and fuck it. you're sick. your hands hurt and your legs don't work right. and it's tough sometimes. but you have people who understand.#you have people who honest to god love you for who you are and appreciate your company. and 18 is the first step.#you've spent half your life unlearning things and you've spent half your life relearning how to be what YOU want to be#and if you're a mediocre artist and passionate writer then you'll be fucking great at that. taking the time to learn when it strikes you.#and maybe this is for me. but its also for anybody reading it too. please god if there's one thing you take from this let it be that#somebody out there cares. *I* care. god i care. even if we've never spoken proper i care about you.#i practically have a list of everybody i see in my inbox. i love seeing familiar names show up. i.#i dont know how to neatly wrap up this tag ramble. but. i am so damn full of love it hurts sometimes. its scary to be happy but thats ok!
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